Where are the parents???

Four teens die in alcohol related accident!

Posted Monday, February 19, 2007, Chuck Goudie, the Daily Herald, Northern, Indiana!

Chuck writes, "There is a word I have used more than any other in my 22 years as a father. It's not a four-letter word that my children have heard me repeat. The word actually has 11 letters.
The word is "unnecessary." I have used it to deny a variety of purchases and activities over the years for all five of my beloved children. From unnecessary toys to taking the car in bad weather to concert tickets; from unnecessary adolescent sleepovers to suspicious lake-house weekends.

This is not to say that I have been a family room tyrant or that my children have been deprived of anything reasonable and substantive. Let's just say they have been wisely protected by an adult who has been there before and knows more than them.

The word "unnecessary" was all I could think of last week as details of the deadly Sunday morning car crash in Oswego became clear. The loss of young lives, the way it happened, the time of night it happened and the events that led up to it were all just so unnecessary.

What are teenagers, some as young as 14, doing out at 2 in the morning? This wasn't prom night, and they weren't part of a supervised, chauffeured after-party.

Witnesses have told Oswego police investigators that the teenagers had been joy-riding in several cars most of the night - most without wea ring seat belts - and that they had been running in and out of a bowling alley, a fast-food restaurant and a movie theater. According to Oswego's police chief, the teenagers ended up at a drinking party "hosted" by the 23-year-old workmate of one of the teenagers. Just unnecessary. All of it. The police and prosecutors will sort out who did what, and those people will pay a heavy penalty because four teenagers died. But that won't bring back any of them or turn back the clock to the time when the unnecessary behavior could have been prevented.

The high-speed crash prompted discussions and debates in the media and at dinner tables across Chicago and the suburbs about teenage drinking and how to stop it and drunken driving crashes. Several West suburban police departments announced an initiative to better patrol suspected teen drinking parties in hopes of stopping trouble before it starts.

Parental Advice: You want to keep your children away from those situations where they might be led into teenage temptation.While I'm no child-rearing expert, and my wife and I have had to juggle our share of problems just like the rest of parental America, we have practiced a few things that might help keep other children safe and alive. Here are a few.

* Sleepovers: Unnecessary. Nothing good comes from them. Young children end up cranky for days. Older kids might use them as cover to stay with boyfriends or get drunk. Or, as apparently was the case with one of the Oswego victims, a sleepover was the perfect party cover.

* Wandering around: Unnecessary. If you have plans, fine. What are they? No plans, no going out. Nothing good can come from riding around in a car looking for something to do.

* Caller ID: When they say they're at someone's house, tell them to call you from the home phone, the one plugged into the wall. On a cell phone, they could be anywhere. On a land-line, your caller ID will tell you where they are.

* No parents, no party: When your teen is going to party, don't just ask them whether the friends' parents will be home. Call the parents and ask. Same with a sleepover.

* Unreliable parent? Just because your child is invited somewhere doesn't mean they have to go. If you know that the parents are drunks, abusive to small animals or keep loaded guns in the living room, keep your kids away.

* No ride, no go: If your teens aren't driving, find out before they leave home how they are getting back. If they don't have a confirmed ride with someone you know, don't let them go. It's just unnecessary.

* Finally, trust. Forget about it. Your trust is not their birthright. Trust isn't genetic, and it's not germane to the debate about your child's survival. Trust only has to be violated once for your kid to land in the lock-up or on the medical examiner's slab. Is it worth it?

Our job as parents isn't to trust that our kids will get home alive. Our job is to fulfill the trust that God has placed in us by loaning us some children for a while. Our job is to live up to the trust that our children have in us - whether they know it or not - to get them to adulthood.

Anything less is just unnecessary."

The Planter: Where are the parents when it comes to being responsible to disciple their own children? Instead they pass that responsibility to the schools, the neighbors and even their church & pastors. In the end, it's still mom and dad's job to raise the kids in the ways of God. How can we miss discipling our own children? Let's raise our own kids, let's not just get them to adulthood, let's lead them to live for Jesus and be prepared for eternity. Parents, we hold the key - let's use it.