Two disturbing conversations...
CONVERSATION NUMBER ONE: I've been reading the book, "UnChristian - What a New Generation Really Thinks About Christianity and Why It Matters" by David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons
On page 110 we read, "When Greg, who is gay, discovered I was a pastor, his demeanor changed. His wounds had history. After a few minutes of hyberbolic invective, I stopped him. 'Tell you what, you don't assume I'm a gay hating bigot, and I won't assume you are a pedophile. Deal? If we buy into stereotypes, we'll never be able to love one another.'
Tears streamed down his face. He asked, 'Are you sure you're a Christian?' Now there were tears of my own. Christians may say, 'Love the sinner; hate the sin,' but Greg and many homosexuals hear, 'God hates fags.' It's unfortunate. It's wrong. And it's our fault."
CONVERSATION NUMBER TWO: Michelle and I were in Muncie, Indiana over the weekend watching our grandson. It was wonderful beyond words. While there, I made a quick visit to the local Marsh supermarket for a few things. I ran into this retired gentleman who looked familiar so I asked him if I knew him. Even though we had never met, he poured out his anger/pain.
When he found out I was a pastor, he immediately admitted that he was gay. He no doubt noticed that I was unmoved by his admission of being gay. My response may have surprised him. Anyway the door was opened for more conversation. Gene then said, "I just gave the church I grew up in my baby grand piano. But now I want it back. In fact I have a lawyer to make sure I get it back. You see my partner and I went to a dinner at the church a couple of weeks ago and one guy told me that people like me (homosexuals)are not welcome here. Another lady asked if I was the donor of the piano and when I said yes, she turned and stomped rudely away from us. If that is how they are going to treat people, I want the piano back."
Was it anger or pain or both? I found myself defending Jesus. I'm still bewildered as to why God allowed this encounter. Maybe Gene needed someone who cared enough to listen instead of judge him. Maybe I needed to see how much of a bigot I have also been. Do we in the Christ family really love the sinner and hate the sin?
posted by Bob Carder @ 1:13 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
Good question to ask, Bob. But not a question that can be answered for "the Christ family." That question can only be answered by an individual Christ follower.
Now you may think that I am letting the church off the hook -- not at all. It is just that there is no way of answering the question once for all. It has to be answered by every denomination, by every district, by every congregation, by every Christ follower.
I know for a fact there are denominations, districts, congregations, and Christians who talk that talk, but don't walk that walk.
Personally, I know I strive for that ideal, but I also know I fall short in some areas. For instance, I find it very hard to love people who are so full of hate and lash out at others unnecessarily and unprovoked. You've seen that here. I have little patience for people like that because if they want to be treated with respect, then they should treat others with respect.
But for this particular issue, I do not have a problem loving the sinner and hating the sin. As long as Gene, or someone like him, would love me in spite of my sins. That doesn't mean, however, that if I got to know Gene really well, and earned the right to speak into his life, that I wouldn't raise the issue with him. The same way I expect my best friends to confront me with my sins when they rear their heads.
Bob, very good post. I have not read UnChristian, but after the bit you discuss here I think I will.
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