Youth in the church or with the Church?
Why do we need games, coffee shops, extravagant activities and entertainment to draw in the youth?
1. Are you lacking in the entertainment department?
2. Must we have fun, fun, fun to attract youth to our progams/church?
3. Are we really hitting the mark in life-transformation through our fun programming?
Then I spoke with a teen this Saturday in our Church family bi-weekly gathering. I asked:
4. Do teens really need more fun or entertainment in order to reach them?
5. Is an hour of singing in what we call worship reallly necessary?
6. Are teens being equipped to reach others and disciple them?
7. Would teens support being in home small groups outside the church facility every week?
8. Would teens support gathering together (all small groups) for equipping them to reach their peers?
9. Would teens show up without the fun and games?
She answered: #4 "No" #5 "No" #6 "No" #7 "Yes" #8 "Yes" #9 "Yes"
Should I ask more teens these questions? Are we missing something in our efforts to reach and redeem our youth? You we need large and decked out youth centers to make strong youth disciple?
Coments welcome!
posted by Bob Carder @ 9:47 PM
7 comments
7 Comments:
I think there is one fundamental thing to remember when approaching youth ministry that is often overlooked or even completely contradicted in the church today. Youth are growing into adults, but we rarely treat them this way, thus downplaying ther capacity for deep thought, and telling them it's okay to be a highschooler forever. If we don't challenge them, we don't allow them to grow. If we treat them like children, we lose their attention, as well as their respect. If we fill their church time with games and activities, we lose great opportunities to build into their lives and share spiritual truths with them. There has to be a perfect balance, I think.
I also think, at least in our church, Bob, that there will be a difference between ministering to the adults and the teens. Teenagers relate to one another through activity. So, while it may not end up as our means of "drawing people to Christ", there has to be events for the teens to participate in, whether it be a monthly mall scavenger hunt, or a biweekly game night, or even just having lunch together every once in a while. Withoutinteraction, there istoo much room for a teen who knows all the answers (even if they aren't living them out) to GIVE all the answers, and have their heart's issues overlooked.
I hope this made sense... haha if not, ask questions and I'll try to clarify.
I have found coffee shops, extravagant activities, and games to be great avenues for building relationships with teens...but I certainly don't need or want those things in my church building walls. Small World Coffee/Princeton (the best coffee shop in the world!), the local sports teams, and the local arcade already provide those for me to use...and then I am freed to offer teens something the rest of those places can't...an adult that loves them and wants to disciple them in the Way of Jesus. Now, not all teenagers are looking for that kind of relationship. However, the Lord of the harvest continues to bring that desire about in some. And others will stay away because they just want the entertainment and fun. A lot of churches will say we have to chase after those teens and capture their attention with the FUN in our church building walls. I say, "why not leave that up to the Holy Spirit?" He seems to do a much better job of it! That's my experience in a dozen years of ministering to students. Unfortunately, Western church culture has been much better at "doing" stuff for teens rather than "being" with teens. It's my prayer that could reverse.
Jessica, from your experience in youth groups have you ever experienced the perfect balance you describe?
As our teens relate in activity it seems appropriate to engage them in serving others "activity". (By the way this is fulfilling - not just fun but FULL- Filling. Do you agree?
Curt,
Wow, just think of the possibilities, if more and more Christ following adults and youth would invest their lives in public places and create venues of ministry in those places to change hearts and lives?
Bob,
I think I have experienced the balance before. It wasn't really in a youth group, though. It was in a "deviant" small group-- "off the radar", if you will. I think the only thing that could have made the group better would have been if we had participated in outreaches for people we personally knew, rather than organizations or ministries done through our church. While all of the kids in our group had a passion for reaching out, the ministry they were accomplishing was not made their own.
I very much agree with you, though. There is no better way to build a relationship other than serving others along side someone.
Bob,
I wish of all the blogs you have written that I could offer some great wisdom on this one. Youth ministry has been part of my life for several years now. It has been amazing to watch God work in a though the ministry of Youth for Christ.
What I have noticed most though is that students need people to allow them to be teenagers. They are told everywhere they go to grow-up, this leaves them feeling streched thin.
Beyond that that want adults in there lives who will look them in the eyes, and not tell them how to live but instead will listen the walk through it with them.
Paul laid out the ultimate youth ministry model in 1 Thess. 2:8 "We loved you so much we were delighted to share with you not only the Gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us." Thats really the key for the church as a whole. We need to learn what it is to love.
In 5 years as the Lawrence County Youth for Christ Director we have seen huge success because kids feel loved.
We need to learn 1 Corinthians 13 and live it. We need to learn who are neighbor is and then treat them better then ourselves. To see a change in the church there must be a change in the hearts of the people.
Just a side thought on the need for an nice building. Last year we were the largest High School youth ministry in the County with, but all our building had to offer was a place to sit, some music and broken down pool table. Kids came because they felt safe and loved.
Forgive my rambling.
-Nick Mullis T
Having years of experience with 'formal' youth ministry and simply great friendship/mentoring relationships with youth, I can agree with what you discovered from this youth, and add a couple more that are helpful.
Youth group games are way outdated. They do not need, nor want to be entertained, nor play chubbie bunnies with marshmallows in their mouth for 30 mins. These games work with Junior Highers at the oldest.
Small groups are as essential for youth as they are for adults. The difference is that the clique-mentality figures more prominently into youth small groups then adults (I go to -insert popular kids name here-'s group and not -so-and-so-'s group. I certainly don't have answers for this, but I have seen this dynamic over and over.
Youth typically do not have the adult defense mechanism required to hear a message, know what they should be doing, and then justify why that applies to everyone else but themselves. This means they are just naive enough to hear a strong, solid teaching of the word, discuss the hows and whys, then actually take God on His Word and do it! And all that without some clever youth programming hook.
May God use the youth of this generation to become the missional church of today and tomorrow!
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